4-Must Have Attitudes when Betrayed

August 9, 2011
Leadership Clip to Evernote
16

If you do life and ministry long enough…

Someone will consider you an enemy

It doesn’t matter what you do, there will always be those who will get hurt and then turn against you, sometimes violently. Remember Jesus was perfect, and He was still betrayed and falsely accused. So we being imperfect could expect nothing less!

How do you handle betrayal and being maligned? The answer to that question will reveal your true heart and will set a path for your future. I think we need to do our best to follow the example of Jesus…

Don’t be Defensive

The hardest thing to do…is nothing! When someone spreads lies about you and hurts you, you want to rise up and "tell the world" your side of the story. But, being defensive is pride. Pride comes before a fall, so don’t give into the temptation and try to run down everything you hear, read or someone texts you. It’s a trap and you will never run them all down. It just fans the flame!

Know God is your Defender

You don’t need to defend yourself! God is your defender, and He is able to make what the enemy intended for harm, and turn it into good. We trust God for everything, including our reputation and what others believe or choose not to believe about us.

Pray for the Offender

The temptation is to pray…but pray down "fire from heaven to consume them." Ha, we can’t do that we must sincerely pray for their well being and future. God honors us when we "pray for those who despitefully use you." When you pray for the person(s) who are hell bent on destroying you, God comes to your side. Don’t worry…be happy!

Don’t get Bitter!

This is paramount! If you allow bitterness and hurt to grow, it will destroy you. Scripture says bitterness is like "rottenness to your bones." In other words, it eats you away from the inside out. Forgive those who hurt you. Not for their sake but for you own. The greatest thing you can do is to press forward with joy and passion.

Have you ever been betrayed? Do you still feel it’s sting? How do you deal with it?

About artie: I'm the lead Pastor at Cornerstone, a Multi-Ethnic church in the heart of Orangeburg, South Carolina. Also the founder of the Comb Network.com, a movement to plant Multi-Ethnic, culturally relevant churches in smaller cities. I direct a gathering of small city leader called "The Sticks."

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  • Russell

    So many times we take away from a conversation what we should… But we have not heard it or digested it in the fruitful or loving manner that it was intended.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, thats good Russell. At times we need to let things marinate before we act or develop an attitude.

  • http://billgrandi.com bill (cycleguy)

    This is so appropriate right now Artie.  I wouldn’t say I am being betrayed just undermined by one who thinks he knows what is best for this church.  He has even suggested to the leaders that me leaving would be the best thing to happen. They have not listened to him.  :)  

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, unfortunately that is more common than not. We have to let the man of God lead! Not unethically or immorally, but we have to let the visionary see and lead.

      Hang tough my bro!

  • http://www.quingdom.com Quing Obillos

    I like this post very much! It’s very applicable to my life right now. Thanks, Artie!

    • Anonymous

      So glad it was encouraging to you Quing. Great day to you!

      • http://www.quingdom.com Quing Obillos

        Thanks, Artie! Have a great day too! Looking forward to more encouraging and uplifting posts from you! :)

  • Lisa

    This was a great read for me. All year so far and continuing, I have been dealing with the ramblings and actions of my ex husband who has filed with the court that I abuse my child and he wants custody of our child. I have solid proof of the opposite of all his claims and am confident that I will win but it is still horrible to know all the things he is spreading around not just with the court, but with others. I don’t know how much longer this case will go on but it has been very difficult. I have been trying very hard to just sit back and let him spout. The truth will come out whether I respond or not but in not responding to everything, I lessen the stress some.

  • http://www.facebook.com/tarasmithward Tara Smith Ward

    I think my tendency is to expect better from other Christ followers because they "know better." However, in my experience I have been more deeply hurt by those who were supposed to be on the same team with me than anyone else. The first time this happened I was completely blindsided because it was so unexpected. I was naive in thinking that because I love Jesus and I was doing what He called me to do, there would not be opposition from other Christians. It took a long time to heal because I kept seeing "the people" as the problem instead of the "principalities and powers" that were really behind what was going on. Like you said, not becoming bitter is paramount as it will destroy you. We must fight bitterness at all cost.

    • Anonymous

      Great addition Tara! We must not loose sight that our struggle is not against flesh and blood. Thanks.

  • http://ericspeir.com/ Eric

    I’m sure you have learned this by experience. The problem with betrayal is that it is usually not a one time event. It seems that as long as we are in leadership the more we can expect it.

    • Anonymous

      Now that a word. That is so right Eric. As you grow as a leader an your influence is expanded, the more frequently it occurs.

      I never hurts less with frequency, I just think we learn how to deal with it more effectively.

  • http://twitter.com/1walkingirl Anne Marie Lombardo

    I was betrayed by the one person who I thought was my best friend so I asked God to bless her like only He can. She is in jail for all of her illegal activities including what she did to me.

    • Anonymous

      Wow, great story Anne, thanks for sharing. So…did God answer your prayer? Was that His blessing for her?

  • Dennis

    Good stuff! Regarding being defensive I would like to say that defending yourself and explaining yourself are two different things. While we should never defend ourselves (let’s leave that up to God and others) there may be times that it is necessary to explain ourselves. Defending ourselves is when we are concerned about our own reputation, etc. Explaining ourselves is done with the other person in mind. It is for their benefit not our own. Just a thought.

    • ArtieDavis

      That’a a great insight Dennis, it adds real depth. Thanks!