5-Habits that make you “CRAVEABLE”

May 27, 2010

Leadership

Ever wish to be the “popular” person? Have more friends than you know what to do with? We all crave the affections and adoration of others, it’s part of our make up to want acceptance and approval from our piers. However, few ever fully understand the real things that make us attractive to others. This is absolutely vital as we seek to gain influence in the lives of those around us for the Kingdom of God. I have seen several habits that actually make people “crave” to be around you…

1. Listen to others’ ideas.

Nobody likes a “know it all.” So get over your own ideas, and actually become interested in someone else’s ideas. We all like to talk about ourselves and what we think. So, when we find a person who cares what we think, Bam! We love to be with them!

2. Speak only good things about others.

Let me tell you a little secret. If you think talking about others, just the things, “you heard” is going to win you juicy friends, you are in for a world of hurt! If you talk negatively about someone else around someone, they are going to ask themselves, “what are they saying about me?” Gossip will ruin your reputation and sabotage trust in a friendship, don’t go there!

3. Give generously when you can.

Nobody likes a “mooch!” Don’t develop a reputation as the “cheap-o” of the group. Proverbs says “everyone is a friend to him who gives gifts.” Generosity makes people feel valued, and not used! So always pick-up one or two more checks, bring something to dinner. Be the one everyone knows will be generous. Not an issue of amount, but rather attitude! Remember the “mite.”

4. Initiate with others.

If you are sitting by the phone, waiting for the invitation.. you are in for a long wait! Get over yourself and make the contact. I know it is hard, always feeling you have to make the first move, but that’s just the way it is. People feel appreciated and valued when we make the first move, but don’t keep score! Just always make the move. Done!

5. Authenticity is irreplaceable!

Don’t put on a mask. Don’t try and be several different people around different groups. You will always be found out! Be yourself! Trust who God made you to be. If they don’t like you, you don’t need them. Find, initiate and love those who love you for you! They are the only ones that will be there when you need a true friend!

These are some things I have noticed that make me attracted to others, even makes them “craveable!” Any others you have noticed?

About artie: I'm the lead Pastor at Cornerstone, a Multi-Ethnic church in the heart of Orangeburg, South Carolina. Also the founder of the Comb Network.com, a movement to plant Multi-Ethnic, culturally relevant churches in smaller cities. I direct a gathering of small city leader called "The Sticks."

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http://twitter.com/b_s_lynn B. Lynn

Good list.
I can attest to number 1, people come to me all the time saying they want advice, but the reality is they want me to listen. Most already have their minds made up they just want someone to hear what they are saying. If you respond with advice when they have "asked for it" they come up with all sorts of reasons that this or that doesn't work, maybe they will qualify it by saying, "it doesn't work for me". If you just listen and they really did want advice they will not continue to talk when they get to a point when they really want advice. If they continue to talk they want someone who will hear them and they will probably work out what they were really looking for as they talk. I have been thanked for my advice many times when I have said absolutely nothing, or simply used prompting questions to keep the person talking.

http://intensedebate.com/profiles/artiedavis61 artiedavis61

Yea! it's amazing how people can "disguise" their intend. Many times I think they really feel they are looking for advice, but their desire to talk about their own opinions just come out! Good thought thanks for sharing!

http://jonathanpearson.net Jonathan Pearson

Great topic you seldom read about! Love the authenticity one. I think being inauthentic may be the biggest hindrance from other people liking us.

http://intensedebate.com/profiles/artiedavis61 artiedavis61

Authentic! I would agree that is probably the most difficult to master. It not only takes discipline, but also a tremendous amount of confidence in who you really are which few have and has to be learned over a period of time. Thanks bro.