10-Q’s that will make a PASTOR go POSTAL!

March 29, 2010
Leadership Clip to Evernote
24

Screen shot 2010-03-27 at 12.10.30 PMBeing a pastor and leader for almost 30 years (I know I don’t look that old, thanks!), I have heard it all, seen it all, witnessed it all & seen all TOO MUCH! But in the middle of hearing God’s voice, intensely following God’s lead, getting your praise on, someone can ask, call, text, em, dm, Facebook or Twitter you one of these Q’s, and I swear, I want to "go off" on that person so bad, they have no idea! So… if you are ever tempted to ask a man of God, who is diligently leading with all he has and trying to follow God, DON’T ask any of these questions… (not responsible for what may come next!)

1. Why are we doing that? We didn’t do that at my other church, what we did was…. (Why did you leave?)

2. Why did we get that color carpet? I like the color at my sisters church it’s…. (This carpet is more godly!)

3. Why do we have to grow? If we get any bigger, I won’t know everybody’s name & then….(It’s not about you!)

4. Why don’t we have a ministry like…. church. I hear they are doing great over there at….(Maybe you should be there doing that ministry)

5. Why can’t I sing this solo? God has really laid this song on my heart! (Maybe it’s because you can’t sing!)

6. Why do we need another service? Isn’t that just church division?(No! It’s called biblical multiplication!)

7. Why do we have to plant other churches, isn’t there enough lost people here in our own city? (Because Jesus said so. Enough said!)

8. I miss church "pot luck" dinners! Why can’t we have those any more? (Because you just come to eat, and you won’t cook for 2-thousand!)

9. I’m just not being fed, why can’t you preach more like…. (Why can’t you feed yourself! I’m not yo mama!)

10. Why can’t there be world peace? (Because there will always be people like you asking Q’s like these!)

I’m cool! I’m not venting. Honest. Just some thoughtful reflection. Care to add any to the list (↓) Bellow?

About artie: I'm the lead Pastor at Cornerstone, a Multi-Ethnic church in the heart of Orangeburg, South Carolina. Also the founder of the Comb Network.com, a movement to plant Multi-Ethnic, culturally relevant churches in smaller cities. I direct a gathering of small city leader called "The Sticks."

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  • http://philangelus.wordpress.com Jane

    To be honest, if I got blown off for asking the first question ("Why are we doing XYZ?") I’d have to wonder even more why that particular practice was being done. We should understand the reasons we use certain practices when worshipping God, how they benefit the community and how they help us grow in our faith. If I don’t know, and I ask my pastor and he says, "Don’t ask me," then I think he doesn’t know either, and we’ve descended into a mindless ritualism with no Biblical backing.

    Telling someone to leave doesn’t solve the problem (And to #4: tell the person to be HERE doing that ministry! Start another branch of that same kind of ministry in the current church. It’ll help with growth, right?) :-)

    • http://artiedavis.com artie

      Hey Jane. I don’t think you understood the questions. You are disregarding the second part of the questions. You can ask THE FIRST PART of Q#1, but don’t compare in a critical way to another church.
      And #4 basically the same thing. God calls each church to a task and DNA. As the leader listens to God’s voice, and accountable to a team of fellow leaders. Those that follow should let those who are leading lead!

  • http://hardwords.wordpress.com Aaron

    Good questions here; I wonder sometimes if there isn’t merit to question 9 (although certainly not in the phrasing)?

    If this question comes up frequently from a number of people, it might be an opportunity to reexamine how and what is being preached to see if there’s anything that needs to change? Am I off my rocker?

    • http://artiedavis.com artie

      No. I don’t thing you are off base. It’s not a Q that is asked often. But even once makes you want to go off! I agree, if that was a common question, some examination should be in order.

  • http://kelly-justathought.blogspot.com/ Kelly Robichaud

    *Whew*

    I’m clear.

    I’ve heard those questions asked, tho’. That banging during the church service that time? Me, in the furnace room, banging my head on the wall. Sorry.

    **grins**

  • Debbie Mast

    #7-my favorite! I’ve heard that question myself, and there isn’t a better answer than " Because Jesus said so." Lovin’it!

  • http://blog.knightsquest.org Buddy Knight

    #9 invites the "Well, open your heart and you WILL be fed!" response, IMHO.

    I would offer #11: Why do we need to use (insert new technology here) in our church? Jesus didn’t need it?

    Answer: Because Jesus provided it! If you want to do it like Jesus did, start walking and we’ll also cut the air conditioning for you, too!

    Great post, Artie!

  • http://www.lightherlamp.com Jaycee (E.A)

    The funniest response has got to be, "I’m not yo mama!" Lol.

  • http://philangelus.wordpress.com Jane

    So if someone came to you and said, "In my previous church, we used to read The Gospel of Thomas, but you don’t. Why don’t you do it here?" you’d say, "Go back to your other church?"

    We only have our own experience to draw on. If someone who’s away from the church or has forgotten his faith comes to you wondering why you don’t do what used to happen in the church of his childhood, it’s probably best to give an honest answer — at least the first time the person asks. Going postal on someone who wants to know why different churches make different decisions only creates a rift in the soul.

  • Dale Paulling

    Hey, Pastor Artie, why can’t we have windows in the Worship Center? Just kidding, just thought this would bring back memories…You could make this one #11.

  • james

    As a portable church, this is my least favorite question..

    When are we going to get a building?

    • http://artiedavis.com artie

      Feeling your pain James, they come in all sizes and places!

  • http://www.iconnectsm.wordpress.com pnick

    Response # 1: Jane, there are two types of people who ask questions like these, especially #1 & #4…
    1. people who genuinely want to help with growth & change not only in the church but in them personally as well. They are merely trying to suggest something out of love & interest.
    OR
    2. people who just want to stir up whatever and see what reaction they get not being at all interested in the outcome…usually this takes their attention off of whatever matters they are dealing with personally..just sayin.

    which brings me to two types of people who respond to posts like this…

    ok, response # 2: Jane…(and Artie), My understanding of question #1 (and #4 for that matter) typically comes from a person/people that will never be satisfied with what’s going on unless God changes their heart. Unfortunate? Yes, true? yes. Probably a guarantee they asked the same question at the previous church they’re referring to and most likely will ask the same question at the next church they attend as well. Jane, sounds like you’ve been blown off before? And you’re right that all we have is only what we have experienced or been a part of – but i’m certainly glad things have not remained the same as what people experienced in King James’ day…it’s like pocket change, if we don’t appreciate it – our financial position will never grow!

    I didn’t see anything in the question/s that referred to this person/people having lost their faith or wondered from the church. And yes, I made my own assumptions as to who and how a person that asks this type of question is! That assumption is totally based on my experience working in a church, maybe yours is too? I also don’t believe for a second that Pastor Artie would actually give a response like this verbatim although it’s what runs through the mind up front and might be a "last resort" statement if needed :-) Just my thoughts!

  • http://www.humjah.com Heather Jackson

    Jane: a lot depends on tone and attitude. Even the question you asked doesn’t necessarily have to be critical of the current pastor or current church. It could be asked in a way that indicates a real search for knowledge and no judgment of one church being better than another (especially if a move to another area was behind the change in churches).

    However, it’s also very easy to turn otherwise innocent questions into criticisms by the way they are worded or the tone of voice used when asked, or if the change of church is from one to another in the same town.

    Even the way that you continue to press on this issue could be seen as a criticism if you aren’t careful; it’s easy to forget that there are living, breathing people on the other ends of these screens, with feelings that can be bruised as easily as they can be in person, or even more so, since there’s no body language to soften the written words. I’m sure that wasn’t your intent, though.

    Keep in mind that our hearts and our intents are seen by God, but only our actions, tone, body language, and words can be seen by others here on earth. Pastor Artie is trying to guard himself and other pastors from divisive attacks on the unity of the Body of Christ by giving guidelines on external behavior, since he can’t always guarantee that the behavior has pure intention behind it (and in the examples given, often does not).

  • http://mikelucero21.wordpress.com Mike

    Lol I loove this questions man!…what I experienced…they won’t ask me these questions to my face..but they will say those questions to people in the congregation.

    • http://artiedavis.com artie

      Yea Mike, that’s called the "end run" to under mind!

  • http://wordsforwarriors.com Mark Baumgartner

    Dear Jesus,

    Please help us as we share Your love with the world around us. Help us never to be selfish or uncaring. Be with Pastor Artie as he leads this charge. Forgive us for fighting about unimportant things. Instead, let us serve You wholeheartedly. In Your mighty name we pray… Amen

  • glennmemorial

    Artie, I've been a pastor for a whopping 18 months, so to say I know anything about ministry would be a gross over-estimation. However, I feel you 100% with these questions. Love your heart for the kingdom. Be blessed and I've learned if you slap people for asking dumb questions…then they usually stop. jk. @EthanDWaters

    • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/artiedavis61 artiedavis61

      Glenn, I perceive that you will do great things for the Kingdom! Thanks for stopping by. "May your camp always resound with the joyful cry victory!"

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Purposevision Purposevision

    You know, being a pastor I have heard these comments over and over. What your saying is so true… although I must admit my response would be a little more diplomatic. I really think well meaning people don't get that if they went to another church they would be saying the same things there.

    I call it the "grass is greener" mentality. There are always things that a church can do better, different or even do away with. Parishioners don't understand that the one thing they are hanging their hat on is amongst maybe 50 other trivial items that someone else has suggested for the day.

    RELATIONSHIPS, PEOPLE, MEETING NEEDS …NOT BRICKS AND MORTAR.

    On my soap box,

    Pastor Autumn

  • James

    My experience has been that people who ask question #5 want to be the center of attention. They are usually the ones who want to sing a solo but do not want to be a part of the choir/praise chorus/praise band.

  • http://www.aworshipfulheart.typepad.com Jan Owen

    Artie, I hope you read this and imagine me using my nicest, gentlest voice.:) I have been in your shoes. I really have. I spent 15 years on staff. I even understand the extreme frustration and pain. We went through a truly hellish period of ministry (suicide of our pastors wife and resulting confusion and loss of church members, etc. )and God used it to do alot of things in my heart – one of the main things was to make me much more compassionate and to deepen my love for the congregation I served.

    One thing God has since really convicted me of is my defensiveness as a staff pastor. And I see it in most other pastors I’ve been around. Because we get defensive when people ask questions, we are unable to really hear them. We have no ability to discern how we might help shepherd them, or pray for them. We are too busy defending ourselves, our church, our decisions. God showed me that many times I never really listened at all – I just wanted to control the situation so no damage was done, etc. He also showed me, sadly, that when I did this, I was not loving the congregation he’d put me there to love.

    My attitude has changed. I now believe we might have a little to learn from those with honest questions, or even those who are unhappy. And I’ve asked God – and others – to forgive me for not really listening.

    • http://artiedavis.com artie

      Thanks Jan, those are wise words..I didn’t write this post being defensive. It was written, in humor! I am very open to staff and others around me with different ideas. Didn’t mean to give the impression I was not. Be blessed my bro.

  • http://www.divinecrash.com RevBT

    I hear these types of questions all the time. The constant is the comparing. Comparing will drive us insane. If we wanted to be just like everyone else then we can go to their church. We have our own church because we are different.

    Keep up the good work.